It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
