Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize