ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
