Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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