Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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