it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
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I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
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It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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