Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize