This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
