yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
