i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
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There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
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Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I want a musical about memes.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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