Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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