i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize