Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you win again, gameday.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
