I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
