oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
