everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
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i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
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I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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