Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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