I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
