Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize