I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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