Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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