I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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