Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize