Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
