How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
