Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
