Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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