I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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