Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
