Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
