im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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