Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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