clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
