theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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