haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
