spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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