my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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