very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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