I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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