at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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