You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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