You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
