Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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