my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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