I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
