he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
