the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I deserve to be covered in dicks
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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