Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
