Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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