I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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