thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
