Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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