I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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