I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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