Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
