i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
