i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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